[Official] Texans @ Falcons

Rocket River · Oct 6, 2015

I got Luck on my Fantasy Team
If he does not produce this week . . . he on the Trading Block

So I need the Texas to make me Trade him!

Rocket River

zeeshan2 · Oct 6, 2015

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr"><a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/Texans?src=hash">#Texans</a> WR Cecil Shorts (dislocated shoulder) has a chance to play next week at <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/Jaguars?src=hash">#Jaguars</a> (week 6), source said. Out this week vs. <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/Colts?src=hash">#Colts</a>.</p>— Adam Caplan (@caplannfl) <a href="https://twitter.com/caplannfl/status/651431757967966208">October 6, 2015</a></blockquote>
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J.R. · Oct 6, 2015

Hey, Bob McNair: Your football team is failing again.

Your tough-talking coach sounded humbled and beaten down Monday.

Your supposedly tough defense was humiliated in hundreds of thousands of homes Sunday.

Your quarterback is the worst in the NFL.

Your Texans are tied for last in the poorest division in the league.

Thank God "Hard Knocks" still isn't around.

Week 5 just started, so you don't have to pull a 2013 and fire everybody right now. But Miami axed kindhearted Joe Philbin after just four games, and the Texans have actually been worse than their 1-3 record indicates, so you'll probably want to keep Human Resources on speed dial just in case.

I'm going to give the Texans a magical trapdoor out at the end of this column. But for now, let's just rip away. Because that's all the opponents have done.

In three losses, Bill O'Brien's frightened squad has been down by a combined 93-19. 93-19.

That's ridiculous.

Ryan Mallett, who somehow was the people's champion of Houston a month ago, is last in the league in completion percentage (51.8), yards per game (180), yards per attempt (5.26), and over and underthrows (40, via ESPN) and is next to last in passer rating (65.3).

That's embarrassing.

The miraculous return of a healed Arian Foster against Atlanta on Sunday resulted in just eight carries for 10 yards, while the Texans' leading rusher in their three defeats has reached a staggering 42, 38 and 27 yards.

That's nothing.

The defense? Well, it pretty much blows. Either Romeo Crennel lost his jab last winter or this is some weird seasonal anomaly. But the Texans gave up 48 points to the Falcons and are tied for 25th in the league with an average of 27 points allowed.

'Not acceptable'

"Losing like that is tough. It's not good. It's not acceptable," O'Brien said Monday inside the safe zone of NRG Stadium, less than 24 hours after the worst defeat of his pro head coaching career. "It's my responsibility … to make sure that type of game never happens again."

If it does this season, all that rope O'Brien earned last year due to 9-7 with four quarterbacks should be cut to arm's length.

What have O'Brien's Texans been good at thus far in 2015?

Cursing on TV.

J.J. Watt commercials.

Apologizing and hinting they'll try to do better, then forgetting to show up for work on Sunday when an entire city tunes in.

McNair's lucky to even have one victory in his pocket in Week 5. The Texans barely beat sorry Tampa Bay and were up only 10-9 in the fourth quarter at home.

The season of "almost" not being good enough has kicked off with nearly being 0-4. A coach who fiercely demanded Houston believe in his sensitive QBs has already changed them out twice in four games.

Oh, how I long forthe days of Vince Wilfork in overalls, Tom Savage showing promise, andthe socks of CharlesJames.

"We have to make an honest assessment of where we are right now," O'Brien said.

At least there's UH

That was preceded by the biggest coach in the fourth-largest city in the country congratulating the Astros for making the playoffs for the first time in 10 years.

The Astros are comparatively better than the Texans. The Rockets kill them. Tom Herman's 4-0 Cougars are the sharpest football team in the city. And the University of Houston's Thursday night home matchup against SMU deserves your dollar far more than McNair on "Thursday Night Football" against the Colts.

Oh, yeah. That trapdoor.

OK, here's the out: If - if, if, if - the Texans can shock themselves back to life, rediscover some pride and take down Andrew Luck in two days, all's not lost.

I wrote last week O'Brien needed to shoot for 3-3, and that remains the case, even after the Falcons marched all over the Texans' heart like Sherman to the sea. It's the Jaguars, Dolphins, Titans and an open date after Indy for the Texans. So there's a path to a .500 record midway through the season in a division that's still winnable. There's also the faint flicker of a winning mark.

Worst-case outcome

But if it's 1-4 after Luck returns to town and the Texans prove they're content with a quick death in 2015?

Well, you'll know for certain what we were all thinking Sunday afternoon: Rick Smith should be called into McNair'soffice, O'Brien will suddenly be in trouble, and the biggest team in Houston will be failing at football again.
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Joe Fan · Oct 6, 2015

The Houston Press picks made before the seasons started

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